You can purchase an autographed copy of Anything But Straight by sending a $35 check or money order to:
-------------------------
Wayne Besen
PO Box 25491
Brooklyn, NY 11202
The bone chilling air is what I remember most about the day I slouched on my snow speckled front lawn in Bangor to pawn my new furniture. Only months earlier I had moved from Florida to work at a television station and my body was still adjusting to the frigid weather. I was shivering that afternoon, but I had no choice because this was about survival. The rent was due, I was hungry and parting ways with the dinner table would at least earn me enough to buy dinner.
I was fired in Maine for being gay. This is my story.
Question: Wayne, is this your personal story? It isn't clear to me if this is you speaking for yourself, or if this is a story of someone else who was afraid to be named.
The non-discrimination issue is absolutely my raw nerve. I too have a story like that, from about 6 years ago, which resulted in me being homeless 1500 miles away from my nearest family, with only $300 (at least I had that!), my car, and NO home, NO job. I was 24 and had been living on my own for the first time, and that's how it ended up. I lived out of my car for weeks.
I will never forget the night the landlord stood over me while I piled the last bit of stuff into my Geo Prism, staring lasers at me while I went up and down the apartment stairs. He stared as I got into the car, and kept staring as I put the key in the ignition.
I will never forget thinking, "But oh my God - where can I go?!" But was so angry and so proud, I drove away from that bastard landlord. Drove around the corner to the next street. Parked the car. Then I started to shake all over, and I slumped over the steering wheel sobbing, "Maybe it's true what they say - maybe God really does hate me!"
It was weeks before I could shake the feeling that God didn't want me in the world. Took a while to distinguish between God and one lousy landlord.
It was years before I stopped being terrified I might end up jobless and homeless again. In fact, that fear didn't go away until we bought our own house last winter.
It wasn't long ago either - I'm only 30 now.
But when I tried to get help for what happened to me at the time, I was turned away everywhere, because it was legal to evict a responsible tenant just for the suspicion of being LGBT.
Don't try and tell me these things don't happen! I'm a very tough person - it takes a LOT to make me doubt my self-worth, but that experience did.
It astounds me that the larger world isn't aware of how damaging these experiences are. If I hadn't had numerous friends with sofas, I would have been on the fucking streets! Pardon the language, but it leaves me fighting mad.
Also - all my compassion goes out to the person who wrote the story about being fired in Maine, and to every person who is victimized and humiliated that way. So wrong! It just breaks my heart.
Susie, this is my personal story. I'm very sorry you also went through such an experience. It is positively awful.
posted by Wayne Besen, at
10/27/2005 1:04 AM
Wayne, just be tough, I know you will get through this bad situation soon since you are such a diligent and intelligent guy. Just be patient and go it slowly, I am sure Weyne will come back soon. Yeah~~ My Hero!!
