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-------------------------
Wayne Besen
PO Box 25491
Brooklyn, NY 11202
"Ex-gay" ministry leader Tim Wilkins wrote a very revealing article for Concerned Women For America. He basically confirmed what I have always said: There is no such thing as an "ex-gay."
These ministries focus on behavior modification, denial, delusion and supressing natural desire. In essence, they are closet assistance programs. This is why they are practically begging "ex-gays" to avoid seeing Brokeback Mountain. They understand that the power of the movie might overcome years of mental conditioning and brainwashing.
Unfortunately, in his critique, Wilkins deliberatly lied about gay life. Consider this dishonest quote by Wilkins:
"Let me say to you (and you evangelicals need to hear this also) that I am aware of the unfathomable suffering which is part of same-sex attractions. Despair, depression and darkness blacker than the bottom of the Mariana trench."
Um, sorry Timmy, but I'm gay and quite happy. Perhaps, you are depressed and suffering so much because you are a sexually frustrated, gay fundamentalist? Just the sound of this right wing lifestyle makes me want to empty a Prozac capsule into a shot of Jack Daniels! For those of us who live in harmony with our nature, however, homosexuality presents absolutely no conflict.
Folks, read the quotes from Wilkins, so you can see that sexual orientation can't be changed. What he offers is denial through will power. This is hardly a satisfying and healthy way to live and lead a spiritually satisfying life:
"I will avoid the movie like a slug avoids an overturned saltshaker and, for the life of me, cannot understand why any evangelical would see it though there appear to be many. But what is more disturbing to me is that many men and women know with unwanted homosexual attractions are seeing the movie."
"Going to see Brokeback Mountain would be similar to asking a former alcoholic to go to a liquor store to buy his neighbor a toddy for the body."
"Opponents of ex-gay ministries will immediately shout "Aha, so you are still tempted with same-sex attractions!" I do not deny it! Martin Luther said it this way, "If your head is made of butter, stay away from the fire."
13 Comments:
Wayne,
1. Who says this man speaks for all ex-gays? There could also be some once-uber gay men who are now so ex that they have no same-sex attractions whatsoever. However, if we stay with your logic:
3. This, too, is a telling quote from that article:
"But there was a problem; the parking lot was full! He told his co-workers, "At that moment I told God that if He wanted me to stop and buy some donuts, He would have to open up a parking space right in front of the shop—and sure enough, the seventh time around the block, there it was!"
You fixate on something long enough, you'll never get rid of it.
posted by Anonymous, at
2/07/2006 2:37 PM
The SCIENCE behind this issue is pretty clear. Our sexual orientation is biological and hardwired; no amount of religion or bogus therapy will change that. Read the book Born Gay by Wilson and Rahman. Gary (NJ)
posted by Anonymous, at
2/07/2006 3:05 PM
Wilkins is contradicting himself within his own article. He says that "out of sight, out of mind" is the way to go. If so, why is he placing himself squarely within the parameters of the ex-gay world, where he gets to analyze, write about and see all things gay on a regular basis? Doesn't sound so "out of sight" to me.
posted by Anonymous, at
2/07/2006 3:12 PM
Great editorial Wayne! There was another very telling quote from Mr. Wilkin's article. He says, "One of the reasons that evangelicals have not made much progress in reaching homosexuals with the Gospel is their failure to empathize with the excruciating pain homosexuals experience."
He just doesn't get it. I am a former frustrated, evangelical who was trying to be ex-gay and now is at peace because I can accept who I am. I can say there are other reasons why evangelicals have not made much progress with reaching homosexuals.
1) Although I'm sure there are caring evangelicals who definitely love and care for gay people, the outspoken leadership has a vendetta against them. They are not only trying to "protect marriage" but people like Tony Perkins even admit that gays should not have protections in employment, housing, protection from crime, etc, etc.
2) If we, for the sake of argument accept their belief that homosexuality is sin (and I don't), they have a very biased view against it. They will tell you that God accepts us where we are at. But their behavior says that homosexuality is exempt here.
3) The bottom line is that their thinking, actions, and deception is the reason so many of us grow up ashamed, afraid of rejection by family, friends, and even the God of the universe. The solution is to ignore them and be honest with ourselves and be the best we can be. To commune with God himself who does accept us all. I wish it didn't take me 42 years to figure that out. Unfortunately, I know many people caught up in their lies and may never figure it out.
I never needed evangelicals to "empathize with my pain". I needed them to stop causing it!
posted by Anonymous, at
2/07/2006 3:49 PM
Schools don't teach that homosexuality is as natural as hetherosexual attraction because there is a great deal of influential retrogrades in power, let's face it. Wasn't just WEEKS since some retarded people were talking about "inteligent design"?
It is not about science, it is about who can impose their views in a stronger manner -wheter these views are right or wrong-
posted by Anonymous, at
2/07/2006 5:26 PM
"Unfathomable suffering"???? The guy compares himself to a SLUG in the first sentence of his article!!!!! Who is suffering here? (NOT a plug for sympathy for this Wilkin's guy, before anyone goes off on me about that. I'm just pointing out a detail.)
Wow - what a circus! These people need to stop feeding into the mess, because they DO influence the belief's of others and hurt people. But what can we do, who have learned better (sometimes the hard way)? Arguing with these folk doesn't get us anywhere, far as I can tell.
He got one thing right - his head (and his brain, for that matter) definitely is made of butter.
posted by Matthew, at
2/07/2006 7:14 PM
Like most other realities where sex is concerned, the black and white fundamentalist mindset can't possibly grasp the fact that human sexuality is highly nuanced.
posted by Anonymous, at
2/07/2006 8:14 PM
Once a pickle... never again a cucumber...
posted by Anonymous, at
2/07/2006 11:42 PM
"Going to see Brokeback Mountain would be similar to asking a former alcoholic to go to a liquor store to buy his neighbor a toddy for the body."
Wouldn't it be a sign of the strength of a recovering alcoholic (they are never "former") to be able to go and, say, pick out a nice bottle of wine for a friend who is an aficionado? I know that the clearest sign my mother had been able to quit smoking, after 38 years, was when she could allow people to smoke in front of her again.
I also find it interesting that, in his "Washington Update" for February 7, Tony Perkins of the Family Research Council, discusses an upcoming (this weekend) conservative conference in DC and states that among the panelists will be Alan Chambers of the "ex-gay" ministry Exodus International to discuss the defense of marriage. Perhaps even he realizes that "ex-gay" is a questionable identity?
posted by Anonymous, at
2/08/2006 2:09 PM
