Wayne Besen - Author, Activist, Columnist, Public Speaker

Wednesday, March 08, 2006

Time For 'Ex-Gay' Hordes To March On Washington

(Alan Chambers)

(Weekly Column)

I know this is hard to believe, but the "ex-gay" group Exodus International is the next Starbucks. The organization, according to its executive director Alan Chambers, is expanding so fast that it will soon have storefronts on every corner where forlorn homosexuals can pray away the gay.

In 2003, Chambers claimed that there are "thousands of former homosexuals." By 2004, he announced that he knew "tens of thousands of people whom have successfully changed."
Last week, Chambers stunned the world when he boasted to The San Francisco Chronicle that there are "hundreds of thousands" of ex-gays. This must have been shocking news to the masses of gay people in San Francisco's crowded Castro neighborhood, that didn't know they were on the verge of extinction.

Folks, we need to put this mushrooming phenomenon at the top of the gay agenda. Even the success of Brokeback Mountain can't halt the expansion of these free the fairies franchises. If we don't stop Chambers by 2008 - a presidential election year - there will be millions of former homosexuals and most will vote Republican. And by the end of the decade, the number of ex-gays will look like a Bill Gates ATM receipt. Exodus might even have to get a sign, like McDonalds, so we can watch the numbers turn to keep track of the billions of transformed lives.

Sure, it seems like more people are coming out, but in Exodus "surreal-ity" the masses are going back in. I know it appears that gay Pride events are growing larger each year, but is it just the liberal media puffing up the crowd size to hide the fact that Chambers is decimating the annual parades? Thanks to Exodus, will Gay Pride soon be reduced to three stubborn drag queens lip-synching on a flat bed pick up truck?

Of course, there are still skeptics who believe that Chambers likes to pull numbers out of his posterior. He bases his inflated figures on the alleged 400,000 phone calls the organization receives each year. Why do I get the feeling that Exodus counts as ex-gays wrong numbers, telemarketers and calls from the pizza delivery guy? I called Chambers twice last year for columns and wonder if I was counted as two ex-gays?

What I find bewildering, is that if there are so many ex-gays, why can't Chambers provide any to speak to the media that are not ministry leaders or paid lobbyists? Why do Exodus and Focus on the Family use the same tired ex-gays in their advertisements? Why do they continue to highlight the testimony of Phil Hobizal, a Portland ministry leader who stepped down in 2003 after having an "emotional entanglement," whatever that means? Why must the American Family Association peddle a video by ex-gay Michael Johnston who suffered a "moral fall?" Perhaps, there simply are not replacements for these failed leaders?

One just has to look at Dr. Robert Spitzer's 2001 study of ex-gays to underscore the difficulty of finding these mythical people. The psychiatrist had so much trouble coming up with a mere 200 study subjects that he unethically resorted to using paid ex-gay shills and referrals from anti-gay groups such as the National Association for Research and Therapy of Homosexuality (NARTH).

There is even a cloud of suspicion surrounding the subjects who said anti-gay groups did not refer them to Spitzer. Daniel S. Gonzales, a former patient of NARTH's Dr. Joseph Nicolosi, alleges that his right wing therapist "asked me to lie to Spitzer when I called in for my study interview by denying Nicolosi had referred me."

In light of this revelation, Dr. Spitzer has an obligation to contact all of his supposedly "independent" subjects and find out if they were coerced into participating in his study under false pretenses.

Fortunately, the National Gay and Lesbian Task Force released a paper this week, "Youth in the Crosshairs: The Third Wave of Ex-Gay Activism," that examines how these groups prey on youth, often manipulating parents to force their children into psychologically damaging therapy against their will. These groups harm children as young as five years old and lure them and their parents with comics, youth groups and a slick CD Rom called "The Map." More studies, such as this one and my book Anything But Straight, are needed to counter the ex-gay myth that is the centerpiece of the right wing's campaign to deny gay people equal rights.

In 1979, most Americans believed there were few homosexuals. To challenge this misperception, the GLBT community held the first of four massive rallies in the nation's capital. If Exodus wants to silence the skeptics they should put up or shut up. It is time for them to hold an ex-gay March on Washington where we can actually see, once and for all, the invisible hordes that only seem to exist in Alan Chambers over-active imagination.

37 Comments:

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
posted by Anonymous, at 3/08/2006 10:08 AM

And who will help YOU kurt who is obviously so uncomfortable with *your* identity? A gay person may be so self-loathing that they "arent comfortable with their identity", but no amount of snake oil from the 'ex-gay' movement will make them hetero. It falls into the tough shit category, you are what you are. They need therapy from qualified REAL health care professionals; and society and most religions need to STOP dumping toxic shame on people (like you kurt) so that their and your self-loathing will be a thing of the past.
Gary (NJ)
posted by Anonymous, at 3/08/2006 10:41 AM

Someone's sold you a bill of goods on this "you are who you are" stuff, Gary.

And to their delight, you're lapping it up like a thirsty kitten.
posted by Anonymous, at 3/08/2006 10:44 AM

BREAKING NEWS: Alabama church arsonists arrested (two men, a third one being sought)
posted by Anonymous, at 3/08/2006 11:45 AM

Where did this oft-repeated first March on Washington in 1987 come from? Am I only dreaming that I particpated in the 1979 March on Washington?
Dick Hewetson in San Francisco
posted by Anonymous, at 3/08/2006 1:06 PM

No one has sold me anything KURT! We know it's you asshole. Unlike you I can think for myself, I don't "lap" up anything. ACCURATE information about science, psychology, and human sexuality is easily available; try reading some of it sometime. I see you posted your snide remark only THREE minutes after mine was; you really are a sick obsessive individual! You must think Wayne is pretty stupid if you think he wont notice your typical tomes just because you dont sign them anymore.
Gary (NJ)
posted by Anonymous, at 3/08/2006 1:15 PM

Exgays already number in the millions.

http://www.exgaywatch.com/blog/archives/2006/01/exgays_now_numb.html

It's 2006 after all, time for a n increase in the order-of-magnitude.
posted by Dan, at 3/08/2006 1:50 PM

And people wonder why we become a tad unglued when people take this nonsense seriously. Thousands, tens of thousands, and now millions, wow! Actually it's almost completely beside the point. Even if being gay were somehow a choice, we would still have every right to feel disgusted by people who would take it upon themselves to urge us to change something that is so personal and close to one's heart. Fundamentalists are a disgrace. They are just so utterly ignorant.
posted by Anonymous, at 3/08/2006 2:24 PM

Another great column from Wayne. The ex-gay "movement" is a laughable failure. There are more former ex-gays than ex-gays. Some of us gays are "ex-straights" (out of a self inflicted closet) and we know the wonderful feeling of being free to be ourselves. It's possible, I guess, that some bisexual people repress their hetero side and need help to "come out" and express the hetro part of themselves. But the ex-gay sex fascists are not trying to help anybody. They are forcing on their (often young) victims a fundamentalist right-wing repressive agenda. At best, these people are unethical self promoting careerists. What the ex-gays and their followers need is "reparation therapy" for their homophobia.
posted by Anonymous, at 3/08/2006 3:11 PM

You people do understand that Daniel Gonzales links to a comment from Jerry Falwell? A man who is probably just as delusional as Mr. Chambers.
posted by Anonymous, at 3/08/2006 3:58 PM

Geez. After coming out to myself at 75, and outing myself at 79, now at 81, I'm told to go back in? No way, Jose!
posted by Anonymous, at 3/08/2006 8:10 PM

"There are a LOT of Gays in America Exgays already number in the millions" ????. OMG what a formidable force that would be ahhhhhhhhhhahahahaha.

That would make it MORE gays than Stra8s!! I hardly think there are more Gays than stra8s, which that statement indicates LOL--so we should be controlling the sta8 population, then there wouldn't be a need for any of this ex-gay bullshit, and only letting them concieve children when We Deem it necessary!! Oh and Not letting them do any of the sexual practises that Gays do and if we catch them doing it, we steralize the women and castrate the men.
posted by Anonymous, at 3/08/2006 8:19 PM

I went through my files and found this and thought this would be neat at this time to post here, especially for those who think there really needs to be a program to produce ex-gays. You know those of us of Faith already know God produced us to be who we are, just the way we are, and the only people who have a problem with that are RR assholes, who think the whole world has to be stra8 UGH!!! The poor kids are the ones I feel sorry for 'cause they are bombarded with these lies the ex-gay movement tells.

A million ex-gays???? ahhhhhhhhhhhhahahahahahahahaha

Any way here's a good read:

9 and 10 really say it all for me. Thank you God, from me, for making me GAY!

Dominick
******************************************************************

Ten Guidelines From God

Effective Immediately,
please be aware that there are changes YOU need
to make in YOUR life. These changes need to be
completed in order that I may fulfill My promises
to you to grant you peace, joy and happiness in
this life. I apologize for any inconvenience,
but after all that I am doing, this seems very
little to ask of you. Please, follow
these 10 guidelines

1. QUIT WORRYING:
Life has dealt you a blow and all you do is sit
and worry. Have you forgotten that I am here
to take all your burdens and carry them for you?
Or do you just enjoy fretting over every little
thing that comes your way?

2. PUT IT ON THE LIST:
Something needs done or taken care of. Put it
on the list. No, not YOUR list. Put it on MY
to-do-list. Let ME be the one to take care
of the problem. I can't help you until you turn
it over to Me. And although My to-do-list
is long, I am after all... God. I can take care
of anything you put into My hands. In fact,
if the truth were ever really known, I take
care of a lot of things for you that you never
even realize.

3. TRUST ME:
Once you've given your burdens to Me,
quit trying to take them back. Trust in
Me. Have the faith that I will take care of
all your needs, your problems and your trials.
Problems with the kids? Put them on My list.
Problem with finances? Put it on My list.
Problems with your emotional roller coaster?
For My sake, put it on My list. I want to
help you. All you have to do is ask.

4. LEAVE IT ALONE:
Don't wake up one morning and say,
"Well, I'm feeling much stronger now, I think
I can handle it from here." Why do you think
you are feeling stronger now? It's simple;
You gave Me your burdens and I'm taking
care of them. I also renew your strength
and cover you in My peace. Don't you
know that if I give you these problems back,
you will be right back where you started?
Leave them with Me and forget about
them. Just let Me do My job.

5. TALK TO ME:
I want you to forget a lot of things.
Forget what was making you crazy.
Forget the worry and the fretting because
you know I'm in control. But there's one
thing you should never forget. Please, don't
forget to talk to Me - OFTEN! I love YOU!
I want to hear your voice. I want you to
include Me in on the things going on in your life.
I want to hear you talk about your friends
and family. Prayer is simply you having
a conversation with Me. I want to be your
dearest friend.

6. HAVE FAITH:
I see a lot of things from up here that you
can't see from where you are. Have faith in
Me that I know what I'm doing. Trust Me;
you wouldn't want the view from My eyes.
I will continue to care for you, watch over you,
and meet your needs. You only have to trust Me.
Although I have a much bigger task than you,
it seems as if you have so much trouble just
doing your simple part. How hard can trust be?

7. SHARE:
You were taught to share when you were
only two years old. When did you forget?
That rule still applies. Share with those who are
less fortunate than you. Share your joy with
those who need encouragement. Share your
laughter with those who haven't heard any in
such a long time. Share your tears with those
who have forgotten how to cry. Share your faith
with those who have none.

8. BE PATIENT:
I managed to fix it so in just one lifetime
you could have so many diverse experiences.
You grow from a child to an adult, have children,
change jobs many times, learn many trades,
travel to so many places, meet thousands
of people, and experience so much. How can
you be so impatient then when it takes Me
a little longer than you expect to handle
something on My to-do-list? Trust in My
timing, for My timing is perfect. Just
because I created the entire universe in
only six days, everyone thinks I should
always rush, rush, rush.

9. BE KIND:
Be kind to others, for I love them just
as much as I love you. They may not dress
like you, or talk like you, or live the same way
you do, but I still love you all. Please try
to get along, for My sake. I created each
of you different in some way. It would be
too boring if you were all identical.
Please, know I love each of your differences.

10. LOVE YOURSELF:
As much as I love you, how can you not
love yourself? You were created by Me for
one reason only -- to be loved, and to love
in return. I am a God of Love. Love Me.
Love your neighbors. But also love yourself.
It makes My heart ache when I see you
so angry with yourself when things go
wrong. You are very precious to Me.
Don't ever forget......
posted by Anonymous, at 3/08/2006 9:25 PM

"What I find bewildering, is that if there are so many ex-gays, why can't Chambers provide any to speak to the media that are not ministry leaders or paid lobbyists? "

Well, it might possibly be for any of the following reasons,

1. These people value their privacy.

2. Having become ex-gay, they are bored with the issue of homosexuality and want to do something else with their lives.

3. They are aware that they would be viciously attacked by gay activists such as Wayne Besen.
posted by Anonymous, at 3/08/2006 9:26 PM

What a crock of shit.

Out of hundreds of thousands they can't find any??? Give me a break. And as far as valuing their privacy - ex-gays are the biggest media whores on earth. Ever hear of John Paulk you moron?

Jacoby S. --- Manhattan
posted by Anonymous, at 3/08/2006 11:32 PM

I wouldn't panic yet. Let's just say Chambers is telling what he believes to be the truth (which I do NOT believe is the case; he's either delusional or in it for the money) I'm sure he's not counting the recidivism rates, which we all know are even more screaming than that preposterous picture he has of himself. How many of the ex-gays are really ex-ex-gays? Besides, what constitutes an ex-gay? Every now and then I happen to have fantasies about sleeping with a woman, just once, to see what all the fuss is about. Does harboring heterosexual thoughts make me an ex-gay? Do all the weapons my partner and I enjoy - my handguns and semiautomatic rifles, his combat knives - make us secret closeted heteros who form a column in a "Silent Ex-Gay Majority?" Does enjoying Guns & Ammo make me an honorary graduate of Love Won Out? I guess I'm now part of Chambers' ridiculous statistic.
posted by Anonymous, at 3/09/2006 12:08 AM

Ah, the cut and thrust of vigorous debate. "What a crock of shit." How smart.

The sad part is, you can't even see how absurd it is that you're stereotyping ex-gays on the basis of the behaviour of one individual, when you'd go through the roof if someone did the same to homosexuals.
posted by Anonymous, at 3/09/2006 12:10 AM

The bizarre thing about debating ex-gays -- they don't exist. It is a fiction, like King Kong.

Jeremy
posted by Anonymous, at 3/09/2006 12:14 AM

Oh please, what is an Ex-Gay anyway? Well in MHO if there is such a beast as an ex-gay, he/she came out once and didn't like it and now wants back in the closet! So in the form of a RR Republican they come Out AGAIN as an ex-gay, mostly with a lisp and limp wrist. Oh dear did I just do a profiling thing? :)

Everyone with an once of smarts does know that once you come out of the shut and you get that slap on the butt to get the electricty going the die is cast and your Orientation is done! And the only people who can change are Transexuals. PERIOD!!!

How come all Ex-gays are Republican and RR nimrods anyway?

Dominick
posted by Anonymous, at 3/09/2006 12:42 AM

Alan Chambers? I've met the man. He's human trash. He did help me discover religion. I thank God every day I got out of his clutches. May the Lord have mercy on his decieved and sick soul.
posted by Anonymous, at 3/09/2006 12:45 AM

hey Anonymous, take your que then from the gay rights movement and come out then. do your own million march through DC for all to see, poke and prod you. Nobody can stereotype you if you are out there for all to see. Drop the anonymous line and show us.

I'd love to see a real live ex-gay who now has the same instinctual physical reaction with a woman as he once had with a guy. Do you do a double-take for a cute chick? or a cute dude?

Then lets put you under the same microscope that gays are under. you know... what made you this way?, is there a genetic predisposition to be ex-gay or is it just environmental?, maybe ex-gay is the fourth type of sexuality? (staight, gay bi and ex-gay?), is it moral to reject Gods gifts?, is it healthy?, do you even really exist? how can you be sure it isn't just a phase?, where is the proof? do you still react physically to men? maybe you just harbor some kind of resentment toward gay society? is there an ex-gay culture? how many of you are there really? 1/2 percent?, one percent? ten percent? christians usually peg gay at 2 percent or so - so if there are more or you than us, then do you even have to be gay first before being ex-gay? maybe you are just a political statement? who even cares about your behavior? do you really have to flaunt yourselves? should you get your own parade? can you name any famous ex-gays? any historical figures? maybe we should add ex-gay to the census to get an accurate count of you? and we should have laws to protect the rights of all those discriminated against ex-gays? should we give special rights to ex-gays before or after gays get them? when is it appropriate for ex-gays to tell a potential partner - first date, second? after the honeymoon? should ex-gays be allowed to marry without some proof? should they be allowed to marry at all? can you get into the boy-scouts? the military? the priesthood? if gay is like addiction then should we not ban ex-gays from being teachers?, certain movies, the priesthood?

Anonymous, there are so many questions that you need to answer - you need to be out there or others will define you - I hope at least that you have learned SOMETHING from Dick and Bush in the past 6 years.
posted by Anonymous, at 3/09/2006 1:47 AM

It's pretty obvious that the 'anonymous' pro "ex-gay" asshole in the above posts is that ubiquitous horsefly KURT! Just because you dont sign anymore doesnt mean we cant recognize your typical swill; like all programed people you keep using the same key words and phrases.
Bitchard Queer
posted by Anonymous, at 3/09/2006 9:17 AM

I haven't had sex in 8 years, does that mean I'm ex-gay? Gawd, I hope not. So send your inflatable parts or the whole kit and kaboodle to: Deprived Gay Men; 123 Blue Blimps Street, Ruralton, South Dakota...and remember gay men in South Dakota need all the love you can provide.
posted by Anonymous, at 3/09/2006 9:18 AM

The most interesting aspect of this, I think, is that homosexuality, same-sex love and affection, exist in every culture across the globe, and in hundreds of animal species. It is quite clearly a natural phenomenon.

In contrast, "ex-gays" are quite obviously an product of certain people's twisted imaginations. "ex-gays" really only exist in conservative and fundamentalist Christianity and cultures that have been dominated or heavily influenced by it. And for that matter, homophobia in general is more or less exclusive to the Abrahamic religions. In order for the subject to even be remotely relevant in the life of an actual gay person, that person must somehow care about a very specific, narrow interpretation of a very specific sect of a religion that is one in thousands on this planet.

In the grand scheme, the ex-gay movement seems pretty insignificant and silly, to say the very least.

Of course gays in the U.S. and some other countries are forced to care because the right-wing uses it to pass anti-gay legislation and feed hatred and intolerance. Amazing what some bad people with a lot of money can do with a couple of obscure references to their mythology, isn't it?
posted by Anonymous, at 3/09/2006 11:56 AM

Ex Gays are just Bisexuals who have chosen to focus on the straight side of a personal sexual preference - or really self hating gays.

I think it is MUCH MORE THE FIRST.
posted by Anonymous, at 3/09/2006 12:42 PM

Hundreds of thousands, indeed. Yes. My attention was drawn to this article recently by a friend.

Funny how not one - NOT ONE - of the "hundreds of thousands" comes forward to describe in a convincing way, the supposed process of change.

That's not to say that some, for a time, might not genuinely believe they have changed desire. People can be brought to believe all sorts of things - for a time - until reality comes crashing in.

In the connection, it is instructive to do a web search on Gilbert Deya Miracle babies.

Otherwise sensible and intelligent middle-class infertile couples in England were brought to believe that the wife had become pregnant and given birth by divine intervention after prayers by Deya. This despite these facts:
1.The women had no sign at all of pregancy at any stage.
2. They were told by Mrs Deya at arbitrary times that they were pregnant and ready to give birth.
3. They had to go to a backstreet 'hospital' in Kenya to give birth.
4. DNA testing showed the babies not to be related to either 'parent'.
5. Pregant girls seeking abortions in the 'hospital' were paid to carry their babies to term and the babies were then taken away.
6. Deya and accomplices were charged with child trafficking.

Despite all this, well-off middle-class people genuinely believed, for a time anyway, that they had had a miracle baby.

So fooling yourself, for a time, into believing that your sexual orientation has changed, is small beer by comparison!
posted by Anonymous, at 3/09/2006 6:27 PM

Falwell's "millions of ex-gays" quote totally cracks me up. The far right loves to claim that gays are as little as 1% of the adult population, which is about 2 million people. So if there are "millions" of ex-gays, then I'm the only queer left - why didn't I get the memo?
-Tara
posted by Anonymous, at 3/09/2006 8:36 PM

Just look at the picture associated with this. Is this the smile of a truly straight man? Let's get the real story from his "wife"
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