You can purchase an autographed copy of Anything But Straight by sending a $35 check or money order to:
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Wayne Besen
PO Box 25491
Brooklyn, NY 11202
The conservative National Review Online wrote an article on the ex-gay ministries. They acknowledged that these groups are not the panacea some right wing groups claim they are:
"What they aren't is what many conservative evangelicals seem to want them to be: the ultimate answer to the gay-rights movement. The groups' problems are deeply embedded in their self-understanding."
The writer, Eve Tushnet, also observed the double-speak that is so common in these groups:
Mike Haley, the director of gender issues for Focus on the Family and probably the speaker at the conference with whom I disagreed least, told me afterward that one small-group session had discussed chastity. "We don't want people to believe that change means you have to be married and have to have kids," he said, and then added, "The opposite of homosexuality isn't heterosexuality, the opposite of homosexuality is holiness. We're not trying to create people from homosexual to heterosexual." These statements don't line up with what I heard at the conference; but it's much easier to be nuanced in one-on-one conversations than in lectures to big audiences.
Actually, when I speak in front of audiences my public rhetoric matches my private rhetoric. Speaking the truth certainly helps one find such consistency. As they say, when you are honest, you never have to remember what you said.
Finally, how can Focus on the Family call the conference "Love Won Out" and then have Mike Haley say that, "The opposite of homosexuality isn't heterosexuality, the opposite of homosexuality is holiness." This is outrageously mean-spirited. He is basically saying that gay people are unholy. His rhetoric is not only offensive and false, but it is a supreme insult to the countless GLBT people of faith. If this is what Haley calls "love," maybe he and I define the term quite differently.
27 Comments:
Really, if ever there was a holy man, it was Fr. Michael Judge, chaplain to the NYFD, who died on 9/11, and he was openly gay. What have those judgemental, holier than thou, sanctimonious shits ever done to make the world a better place---except persecute people.
posted by Anonymous, at
6/15/2006 1:33 PM
The goal of walking in holiness is one that puts Christ First and 'Us' last. He should have said, the goal is not to make homosexuals into hetrosexuals, because Sin exist in both those circles, our goal should be to walk in holiness, and that requires dieing to our earthy wants, and living for God's. There is nothing the blood of Christ cannot restore and make whole, if we give our lives over to Him and trust His will for us.
posted by Mark, at
6/15/2006 2:53 PM
Another interesting statement she made was this.... "Many of them have walked away from God and any sort of faith tradition because they were so disappointed — they’d been lied to over and over again by people speaking in Jesus’ name.”
If they really love gay people and believe that bringing people to Christ is a major way to show love, then why would they allow this to happen? My guess its because its not about love at all. Rather, its about prejudice.
posted by Anonymous, at
6/15/2006 3:20 PM
It's interesting how complimentary she still is of Mike Haley. And how in many ways she doesn't dismiss what many of the ex-gays are saying (and that seems to be repeated on her blog, linked in the NRO story). On her blog she also seems to see some merit to Exodus and ex-gay testimonies based on her interactions with gay men.
Knowingly or unknowingly, Satan is influencing you to focus on the behavior of other Christians and not on Whom you should be focusing on...Jesus Christ. Jesus was the only Perfect Man who ever lived. You won't find perfection in anyone else...including Christian believers.
posted by Mark, at
6/15/2006 3:28 PM
Uh, Mark, I'm not interested in perfection in others; just common sense, common honesty, and common decency. All of which are uncommon, come to think of it, but especially so in fundamentalist Christians and most especially in these "ex-gay" honchos.
Gee, I guess when these groups get humiliated time and again by one of their poster-boys being caught en flagrante, the rest of are supposed to pretend not to notice or else it's Satan doing the talking for us.
posted by Anonymous, at
6/15/2006 7:02 PM
mark,
In Christ we are neither male nor female, Jew nor Greek, citizen or slave (this was written a long time ago). Yet it does not change the fact pattern that person reading this may have been a female Greek slave.
"Being in Christ" does not justify deceipt. And seeking holiness is not about testifying to Congress that they should ban other people from getting married. Seeking holiness is also not making parents of gay kids think that if they just send their kids to ex-gay camp then they will get grandchildren.
Before you come on here and discuss Christ, you may want to look at Exodus, Focus on the Family, and the others and ask yourself if they are seeking holiness in themselves or if they are trying to create a "Kingdom of God" that consists of 50 states with them as God's regents.
Claims made by ex-gay movements are deliberately deceptive to lead people to believe that they will become heterosexual from homosexual which is impossible in either direction. If one were to believe this false premise, then it follows logic that a heterosexual would become homosexual through reparative therapy and prayer, as claimed by Focus on the Family. The other major flaw is that the premise is based entirely on a "born-again" premise or viewpoint of religion. I have yet to see an "ex-gay" who has not been brain-washed by born-again rhetoric. It is important to remember that not all people believe in god or "the blood of christ" and therefore would not benefit in the least from any information presented by an extremist religious hate group such as Focus on the Family or the many clones who have infiltrated the government and public opinion.
posted by Anonymous, at
6/15/2006 7:45 PM
Friend, be careful on this blog when you start talking "deliberately deceptive"...glass houses.
posted by Anonymous, at
6/15/2006 9:43 PM
mark, when the christians stop pestering thos of us who just want to be - then we will stop pointing out their faults as well.
posted by Anonymous, at
6/15/2006 10:57 PM
ok, then lets all just stop pestering each other, shall we? we all 'stink' in God's eyes anyways. The problem is, when a group of people who rely on their own interests, compromise another group of people who rely on God's interests, are forced to work things out. Both have different interests, both have a desire to live a happy life. One group perhaps believes in no eternal after life, the other group does. One group only abides by Man's laws here on earth, the other group abides by both Man's laws and God's laws. Problem, one group values God's laws over Man's law, and there is the begining of a conflict.
The law of Man can limit one's freedom of a happy life for a earthly amount of time. The law of God, however, gave us a clear picture of how we could never measure up. So why try? Because our loving God gave us a perfect pardon, Jesus Christ. Better news, that pardon, once accepted lasts for an eternity, or an eternity away from Him, if rejected.
If one takes Pride in not looking towards God's boundaries for our lives, then one may never see the gift of that pardon that God holds in His extended, bloody, nail pierced, beaten, whipped, spat on, loving, forgiving, sinless, perfect hands....
Dishonesty is so much the issue here, as Wayne points out and as Tim does too, in his post above.
If what Focus REALLY wants people to think is "We're not trying to create people from homosexual to heterosexual." then let them print that on their literature.
I think what they want people to think is "We CAN change people's sexual desire from homosexual to heterosexual". Only if people think that, will they part with money. Who would part with money if they knew they were just to be told to be celibate, but with feelings unchanged?
A person should most certainly have the right to live a celibate life. But that is not the issue here. The issue here is that these dishonest groups with weasel words give certain impressions, then when presed, wriggle out of the promise and completely turn about.
That statement made to Wayne should be quoted widely. Let's hear it again: "We're not trying to create people from homosexual to heterosexual."
Is that TRULY what people THINK Focus is about?
posted by Anonymous, at
6/21/2006 6:04 AM
Christains; everyday regular Christians, not the people in charge, are being lied to and misguided by words in a book that were written over 2000 years ago. If you follow the teachings of Jesus Christ, you need to hear his words. I would challenge anyone to name one place in the Bible where Jesus himself says anything about same sex relationships since the term "homosexual" wasn't coined until the mid 20th century. Most evangelicals place heavy emphasis on the teachings of the Apostle Paul. However, if you read the Bible you'll find that most of the new testament writers, with the exception of those who walked with Jesus, are re-stating the words of the old testament. Paul is no exception to this rule. His writings on man to man and woman to woman sexual relationships paraphrase the writings in leviticus. There needs to be a way to let everyday Christians know that there is more to scripture than their pastors would have them believe. Margaret Cho, Host of the Glaad Awards a few years ago said that she wished God would come down and say, "You know, that isn't what I meant." I think he has, they just aren't listening.
posted by jekelhyde, at
6/23/2006 8:27 PM
The problem with Besen is he looking to find fault with Haley, looking at anything to trip him up. Some people just cant handle it that people do change and feel happier for it, irrespective of whether people relapse or not. The only bigotry I can see here is from Besen!!!
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