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Wayne Besen
PO Box 25491
Brooklyn, NY 11202
Tim Hardaway was one of my all-time favorite basketball players until today - when he said he hates gay people. On the court he had a mean cross over dribble. Off the court he is just mean and a despicable human being. On a south Florida radio show he was asked about former NBA player John Amaechi coming out and had this to say:
"Well, you know, I hate gay people," Hardaway said near the close of an interview that mostly focused on his tenure with the Heat and the team's current state. "I let it be known, I don't like gay people. I don't like to be around gay people. Yeah, I'm homophobic. I don't like it. It shouldn't be in the world for that or in the United States for that. So, yeah, I don't like it."
Now it gets weird to the point I question the sexual orientation of Hardaway.
"First of all, I wouldn't want him on my team. And second of all, if he was on my team, you know, I would really distance myself from him because I don't think that is right. I don't think that he should be in the locker room while we are in the locker room, and it's just a whole lot of other things and I wouldn't even be a part of that."
Hardaway was asked if his opinion would be different if a top-level teammate acknowledged being gay. "
If he were that great, something would still have to give," he said. "People would feel uncomfortable with that. If you're not gay, nobody in that locker room would feel comfortable with that person on your team."
Sorry, but that is not a normal heterosexual reaction. Hardaway, it seems, has some serious issues he needs to work through.
At the very least, Hardaway made an ass of himself today and lost many fans, including myself.
18 Comments:
Hardaway's words were disgusting and ignorant, and that is putting it mildly. However, they do serve a purpose, and that is to illustrate the absurd ignorance of many of those who make up the sports world. Not wanting gay people, "in the locker room" is a display of such crass stupidity that it begs description.
But what it really highlights is the fact that these "manly men" are anything but true men, for a true, secure man doesn't crumble before the specter of a gay person in their midst. It's quite possible that, despite the excessive, outward display of aggression and testosterone, that these guys are really just a bunch of girly men.
posted by Anonymous, at
2/15/2007 12:27 PM
As if we didn't need any more fuel added to the "jocks are stupid" fire. It must be awful to live in such ignorance and fear all the time, constantly terrified that maybe, just maybe, a gay man will share a locker room with you.
*Hardaway* -- his last name says it all! B. Queer
posted by Anonymous, at
2/15/2007 4:22 PM
I've always believed that extreme homophobia represents something more internalized. Many people in my life have said, "I don't like queers, but you're OK." Those people I just deem ignorant. Men who have a blatent hatred of gay men without any kind of logistical rationale are, in my opinion, closet cases whose hatred is more internal than external. I pity them. I hope that some day they can come to terms with their own identity.
posted by jekelhyde, at
2/15/2007 6:38 PM
Wayne, How do you know that is not a "normal heterosexual reaction", your not heterosexual! Do you speak for heterosexuals, now?
Hardway doesn't like gay people, now you don't like him. Doesn't that sound a bit childish? I agree, he should be more tactful about it, but so should you! You have a right to your opinions and so does he.
posted by Anonymous, at
2/16/2007 10:56 AM
"Straight" people who think about m/m anal sex 24/7 might be the ones that need to see a doctor. Either that or just come out of the closet.
Give me a BREAK. Straight couples have anal sex as well!
posted by Anonymous, at
2/16/2007 2:51 PM
Anonymous, you are such a dumb fuck. Tim Hardaway didn't "squirm". He quite vocally gave voice to a very ignorant prejudice.
posted by Anonymous, at
2/16/2007 3:43 PM
In response to the comments that it's normal to be squeamish about gay sex I say baloney.
I've been out and actively involved in gay rights since the 60's. At first people we're startled to encounter any open gay person. This is from a time that gay people were branded as communists, socialists, and pedophiles - quite a combination. A few people were anti-gay but the vast majority - on the order of 99% - were just surprised. When gay people began to push for fundamental rights to housing, and most recently to full marriage equality, the resistance became vocal and persistent.
I've had lots of heterosexual friends, as do most gay people in my city. One consistent theme of these friendships is everyone is comfortable with their sexuality. Comfortable straight men have little response to pictures of handsome men. Their response to attractive women is markedly different - across the board. They're aware of being turned on, and aware that gay men are turned on by attractive males. This doesn't phase them in the least.
In all my years working as an openly gay man I've only once had a negative reaction from any client. That client had made some racist comments. Then he put two and two together and figured out I was gay. End of business relationship.
The people who have organized the anti-gay rights initiatives come from a long line of people who are racist. They're having a field day using black americans and latino/as against gay people. Divide and conquer. This is not the first time that's been accomplished in this world.
What has happened is that ex-gays are showing off their fuzzy logic, homophobes are utilizing increasingly effective spin - but spin and fuzziness only last a short while.
I'm glad there is light being shed on pseudo-research that originates from fear and beliefs that, at their core, cause great pain in the world, and harm those who hold tightly to them.
He didn't say anything about gay sex. He said he hates gay people. You can't justify it away by saying the sex act makes him uncomfortable. He said he hates gay people, which means he hates me and he doesn't even know me. Fine, let him wallow in his hatred. It's his own cross to bear.
posted by jekelhyde, at
2/17/2007 11:26 AM
My brother, who is straight, is my biggest supporter and HATES homophobes. And I don't mean he pretends to hate them, he DESPISES them. He supports me, his gay brother, 100%. During honest discussion, he has admitted that he too thinks the idea of two guys having anal sex to be gross, and that is fine with me!
It's because that isn't the point. The point is that you can't allow such a reaction to be the catalyst for open bigotry, prejudice and stigmatization. Personally, I "squirm" when I consider the fact that that the elderly couple who lives down the hall from me probably has sex, but I certainly don't hate them!
posted by Anonymous, at
2/17/2007 1:51 PM
Being gay is no more about sex than being straight is about sex. You think we do it 24/7. Please, I don't have kind of time or energy.
posted by jekelhyde, at
2/17/2007 5:06 PM
No, honestly, there is no group that I hate. And I had to think about it, but I found none. There are, of course, individuals within certain groups that I can't stand, but I don't generalize. And I don't feel, in this case, that Wayne is generalizing either. If someone hates you, it is a knee jerk reation to hate back. Might be counter productive, but at least it's logical. For a man to say that he hates ALL of any particular group is hardly logical, or excusible. And of course you can justify it all you want. And I'm sure you will.
And the fact is he didn't say he didn't like gay sex, he said he didn't like gay people. I am gay whether I have sex or not. It's BS to water it down to the unacceptability of a certain action. He isn't saying he doesn't like the action, he's saying he doesn't like the people. By your words, it's plenty OK for a neo nazi to burn a cross in front of a black man's house, because "you can never make all people like you." Or Hitler was totally justified in killing thousands of people, because he just couldn't be forced to like them. Yes, I am carrying it to the extreme, just as you are watering it down.
posted by jekelhyde, at
2/17/2007 7:25 PM
I don't understand straight people's obsession with gay sex! Prior to writing this I can't even tell you the last time I thought about straight people having sex. When I meet someone (straight or gay) I don't think to myself "Gee....I wonder if they do anal....or missionary....or doggy....or maybe she uses a strap-on on him....".
I would also assert that there's not a straight man alive who hasn't "checked out" what other guys have in the locker room or sneaked a peek standing at the urinals. People are curious as to how they measure up, yet they're paranoid that gay men are going to be checking them out in the shower. What hypocrites!
And lastly, have you straight guys really looked at yourself in the mirrors lately? Most of you let yourselves go to hell after high school, packing on the weight, losing your hair, etc. And it gets worse after you're married. You bitch about your wives getting fat (due to your getting them pregnant), but you turn into fat, balding slobs who watch football and drink beer all weekend long. You have nothing to worry about in terms of gays trying to pick you up. Believe me! You bring nothing to the table that we'd ever want.
posted by Anonymous, at
2/17/2007 8:54 PM
No - I don't speak for all gays and you know it. I expressed an opinion, just like so many straight men have expressed theirs. It wasn't pretty was it? And you took offense to it, didn't you? Welcolme to the club!
So many straight men seem to be obsessed with what gays do in bed. There's so much more to us than that, just like there's more to you than football and beer and what YOU do in bed. We have jobs, mortgages, families, and responsibilities just like you do. Perhaps you should try to look beyond what we do in bed and in return I'll acknowledge that not all of you are fat, balding, beer drinking slobs.
yes, it is about sex. But it isn't just about sex. I am more than that. No, I don't tend to look at fat balding men anymore than most straight guys will look at the plus sized models. But being straight isn't all about sex. I am gay because I am attracted to members of my own gender, sexually and emotionally. Regardless, Hardaway said he hates gay people. You can't sweep the words under the rug.
posted by jekelhyde, at
2/18/2007 9:34 PM
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