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Wayne Besen
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Truth Wins Out (TWO) today called on Colorado officials to investigate New Life Church, after the Associated Press revealed that New Life paid money to keep a male volunteer from publicly disclosing a romantic affair with the church's former minister Ted Haggard.
According to the AP, New Life's current Senior Pastor, Brady Boyd, said that the church reached a legal settlement to pay the man for counseling and college tuition, with one condition being that none of the parties involved discuss the relationship publicly.
Until conservative churches stop shaming gay people and learn to accept them, we will see more tawdry scandals. These calamities are a direct result of the closet.
Rev. Boyd denied that New Life paid hush money and said, "Our desire was to help him. Here was a young man who wanted to get on with his life. We considered it more compassionate assistance -- certainly not hush money."
Authorities should investigate to ensure that this volunteer was not manipulated or coerced into silence. The leadership of New Life has little credibility and should not simply be taken at their word. At a minimum, Boyd should resign for using his position of power to pressure a vulnerable member of his congregation into silence.
In 2006, Denver escort Mike Jones disclosed that he and Haggard had a three-year relationship where money was exchanged for sex. Shortly after, Haggard stepped down from New Life. Next week, HBO will air a documentary on the rise and fall of Haggard. The disgraced minister will be promoting the show in media appearances throughout the week.
There is speculation that the HBO special spurred the volunteer to contact a Colorado Springs television station to discuss the situation.
24 Comments:
This story makes me so angry! Not angry at Ted Haggard (he is a pitiful victim), but at those evangelicals who insist on continuing to reject gay people's full participation in church and society! Anyone with eyes to see can see the "writing on the wall"; it's clear that their map of reality concerning gay people is completely misguided and based upon the discarded ignorances of the past. Some major evangelical, who cares more about the actual truth than his or her reputation in the church, needs to say something like THIS:
"The evangelical church in America has instituted policies in both the church and the country at large that were based upon the assumption that homosexuals were simply heterosexual individuals who chose to engage in deviant same-sex behavior, and that through a regeneration of morals, they would reject that temporary, wayward decision and come back to traditional family life. It has become clear that we were wrong in these assumptions. Since the Bible says that 'the truth shall make you free,' we humbly rededicate ourselves to uncovering the truth wherever it may lead us concerning this issue. Please pray for us that we may begin this new journey in a spirit of love, respect and a desire for mutual understanding."
posted by Chris L., at
1/24/2009 10:26 AM
why don't gay people start being just as vocal by saying we are not the least bit interested in worshipping with people that have completely gone off the message of what they claim to be representing. In other words, Keep your stinkin church. Who gives a crap. We are not trying to gain the acceptance of these tarts. I do not accept them. The ONLY slogan that they should receive is GAY PEOPLE REJECT YOU. Not interested. PASS!!!!!
posted by Spouse Walker, at
1/24/2009 12:10 PM
@mail:
I say that all the time.
But the problem is that we also feel compassion for the poor suckers who are raised in these religious environments. It's not so easy for them to reject the brainwashing. That might mean having to walk away from their friends, family, everything they know.
@Chris L.:
Haggard should make you angry.
All religious people are simultaneously victims and culprits. They're victims when they're young and their heads are filled with bronze age mythology and misinformation. But then they all become the criminals as well, when they spread the garbage to other victims.
Ted Haggard is not a helpless child. He's an adult living in a developed nation in the information age. He has very few excuses to be so deluded. He knew all about the existence of the gay community (god knows he was perfectly capable of finding sex). He no doubt had been challenged on his homophobia many, many times. He chose to ignore it. And he no doubt caused a great deal of pain and suffering, hypocritically preaching anti-gay hatred, corrupting the minds of thousands upon thousands of impressionable young minds in his gigantic megachurch.
Now the scumbag is cashing in on his life of shame and lies by making a cable TV show. Sickening.
posted by Ryan Grant Long, at
1/24/2009 1:13 PM
Off topic: What a breath of fresh air!! See new White House website on glbt issues. http://www.whitehouse.gov/agenda/civil_rights/
posted by Anonymous, at
1/24/2009 4:46 PM
Chris L. That's drama. I have no sleeve to cry on. I am not the least bit interested in whether Ted Haggard admits his homosexuality. It does not matter to me. I met some guy last night that i saw in a self help gay talk dialogue kinda thing a few years ago. I recognized him. He did not remember but i do and i remember him and his friend giving me a bad attitude because i am out, gay and do not have a problem with it. They have a problem with being gay and this guy still did. He became paranoid when i asked him about something he had said in that group chat. I have a good memory. I liked him in a lot of ways except the fact he could not accept himself and i felt sorry for him last night because he was still obviously in pain and not living the life he can be since he is still in the closet. Guess what? I really don't care. I don't. There are plenty of people who like themselves and i do not have the energy or time for this crap. He is in his mid 40s. He needs to get a grip and accept himself. It is a waste of a life. A WASTE. I am not being sucked into it anymore. When i see it, i am not going to give pity and sorrow to that crap. Its hard for the rest of us to have to bear the bullshit of someone elses delusional self imposed shame. I won't anymore. Gay people who do not like themselves can stay clear of me as well as everyone else they are hiding from too. I feel they do not get the fact that they are hurting me as well as themselves by not accepting themselves and they will have to go elsewhere because i am not going to allow someone who cannot deal with something as simple as accepting what you are inside to give me grief for however long the hell its gonna take to get over it. GET OVER IT. YOU"RE GAY. Now what..... I gotta "lotta what" because i have accepted myself for as long as i can remember. What can they possibly offer me that will inspire and give me a life force to make my own life even better? That is not selfish. I will not allow closet cases to damage me indirectly just like hateful homophobes do. There are too many wonderful gay men and women who are dealing with the rest of their lives, seeking and achieving happiness. And anyone or any entity that wants to try to tell me about some judgemental god and what that god thinks and does? I got one response. Take a guess which two of my ten fingers are erect in front of their face.
posted by Spouse Walker, at
1/24/2009 11:17 PM
mail....you do have a point. As much as I have compassion for people like Haggard, people like him do perpetuate the straight myth that gay people in general are unstable, unbalanced, erratic, promiscuous more than others and abnormal as well as their sex practices.
Believe it or not, Haggard's type of behavior feeds into some of the homophobia I've found among bisexual men, many of whom think that kissing another male is not acceptable, but reserved strictly for a straight relationship. Its truly amazing how they think and they wonder why many gay people don't buy (excuse the pun) into bisexuality. I've even met bi men and women who oppose marriage equality, but not surprised either.
Haggard is a disgrace to himself and the LGBT community. The man is delusional, obviously in denial about his sexual orientation. He needs to grow up and get over it, like the rest of them who hide behind girlfriends and wives.
posted by Anonymous, at
1/25/2009 8:47 AM
Symbolically giving the anti-gay churches and religions "the finger" in our lives is a great idea when it comes to ourselves. It's an expression of our own self-respect and healthy anger over the pitiful lies about our lives. HOWEVER, it can't end there! That doesn't help the poor young gay teenager who is stuck in that cesspool of anti-scientific ignorance and idiocy. That nonsense is that teenager's entire world; it is all he knows. He firmly believes all of the laughable mythology that his church tells him.
Christianity is the ultimate perversion, and Christian leaders the ultimate psychological pedophiles. They molest the pure minds of children when they are too young to think discerningly, installing a corrupt system of guilt, shame, denial, mythology and sacrifice; sacrifice which, of course, benefits the molester himself.
Giving them the finger isn't enough. They must be stopped so they can't victimize others. They must be put out of business. I am not content to know that "I" survived their attempt to destroy me as a young gay man. I can only be content when I know we've stopped them from doing it to anyone else.
posted by Chris L., at
1/25/2009 11:54 AM
Gary, to follow up on your "off-topic" link. I think its rather sad to think that as good as Obama is, he of all people is really supporting segregation on the civil union issue. New Jersey's report is evidence enough. Everybody else can marry except us. How does he think civil unions are going to make us equal just because all of the rights of marriage are conveyed? I just don't get it and there are some states that even prohibit civil unions and no federal legislation can force them to overturn it.
posted by Anonymous, at
1/25/2009 1:10 PM
Chris L.:Then they have to leave their entire world just like many gay men and lesbian women did. Just like my own grandparents who immigrated to this country. I cannot be the conscience for helpless people who succumb to ignorance or sit in desperation their whole lives. I see it all over and combat and deal with it. So these "poor" teenagers as mentioned will have to face the hate too. Or they grow up to be like the someone who is reading this blog and chewing on their fingernails not expressing their opinions because they think that the government or some larger entity gives a shit that they are gonna type something personal about themselves into the ether of the internet to be forever recorded. ooh. so what. PATHETIC. and their out there, gay and straight. I have news that may surprise people who do not accept themselves. Once you do accept yourself, many shitty people go away. They become afraid of you for whatever reason in their head. It is probably because you cannot be manipulated anymore and hence they move on to their next victim. Don't be prey. Be the predator. It silences the ignorant. Make the homophobes explain their position. There is no reason for me to have to go on the defensive for living my life. RobertNYC is correct about the justification of bisexual behavior affording straight people the abiltity to get there horn off without guilt of any kind. It is popular to demonize gay people and it is gay people who accept themselves that have to say "get a grip" to all these lying cheating people who patronize us because they think homosexuality is between the legs. It isn't. I am not gay because of what i do or want to do. I am gay because of how i feel inside. I am gay because of my natural thinking processes. And if people dont like it then that is TOUGH. We have a lot to achieve and it is impossible to fathom any of it if you do not even accept who you are. Being gay may not encompass all of what you are but it certainly consumes all of what you are if you cannot accept it. If thats the case, then go to therapy. Do something. Live your life. go bowling or play bingo, jog. Start by telling one person you know who cares that you are gay. Jeepers. This is so unnecessarily exhausting.
posted by Spouse Walker, at
1/25/2009 1:20 PM
By the way, gay people are not "straight people with a twist on the rocks." I am not like straight people at all. I think completely different from them. My life is different from theirs. We should not be trying to say that "we are like you." We aren't. And that is perfectly ok. It is dangerous to be comparing gay parents as the same as straight parents. It isn't better or worse. It just is and it is not the same. I am not like a straight person. Far from it, never have been, never will be. I am not looking for the acceptance of straight people any more than they are of me. I want the law on my side and everything else will fall into place.
posted by Spouse Walker, at
1/25/2009 1:47 PM
mail, I'm inclined to agree with your last two comments.
Regarding bi's using us....they do see the gay component of their lives as being between the legs for the most part, nothing more. Some of them who are married or who have girlfriends will indulge in sexual behavior with a male but not without the female present. Many don't even acknowledge that if they have sexual contact with the same gender, its not really gay because they also like women sexually. These are the same people who would deny their bisexuality and the majority of them live on the "downlow" and who are the first to denigrate, demonize and deny us our rights. I detest and resent them and they deserve to be outed for their hypocrisy, bigotry and dishonesty. Haggard deserved everything he got and more. The man is a fraud and a liar. How screwed up does it get?
posted by Anonymous, at
1/25/2009 4:21 PM
I am home watching "prayers for Bobby" Guess what? Disregard whatever you want from what i posted. My feelings are my own and others have the right to theirs too. I just have one thing to say. Suicide is "leaving" so why not stay alive and "leave" instead if you need to get out of a bad situation. Because... Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem. I do fucking care. I wish i didn't but i do. I was wrong to make posts telling people to get over it on a blog that focuses on helping people come to terms with who and what they are. My apologies.
posted by Spouse Walker, at
1/25/2009 8:23 PM
Mail there is something I found interesting in what you wrote above and that is that for you being gay is something internal to your psyche and which goes far beyond sex. I found it to also be an excellent description of what it is like being transgender (which is what I am). I wonder how widespread your point of view is in the gay community? There is (or at least has been) a certain segment of the gay community that says they are basically identical to straights except in their choice of sexual partners, and that seems to me a rather opposite point of view.
Wayne mentioned on a separate thread a few days ago that he doesn't think it's difficult to "get" gender. Obviously I don't think it is, either, the evidence being the attitudes of my friends. Even so, I think there is a generational phenomenon in play, and that it seems more difficult for people not on the shiny side of 45 to understand.
In any case, Mail, I think we share a lot of human desires with all other people; it's just that it's easy to lose sight of it when certain groups reveal their bigotry and hatred.
Perhaps a little more on topic, I must say there is something about Ted Haggard that makes him an unparalleled spokesman for the fundies, and I kind of hope he stays highly visible. The man is so transparently insane, and you can see it in most of the videos out there on the web. I watched a clip with him and that atheist (Dennett, I think) and Haggard was coming across like the crazed meth-head he probably was.
posted by Cacau, at
1/25/2009 10:33 PM
Cacau: We all seem to have emotional pain. Simply being human is the reason for that. To answer your question, yes I do think the gay community thinks about their higher selves and feel that homosexuality is far beyond an act. I am not "on the shiny side" of much anything these days but i do not accept blatant hypocrisy and Haggard seems to be exactly that. He is crazy but there is little repercussions when anyone bashes GLBTs with hate and bigotry. It is difficult to have compassion for his type of dishonesty.
posted by Spouse Walker, at
1/27/2009 1:08 AM
Mail, I'm not sure I know what would be fitting punishment for some of these types. For criminal bashers--obviously the full measure of justice. For the haters--social ostracism and the loss of the ability to profit financially from hating us. For Haggard--maybe spending the rest of his life as an anonymous small town insurance salesman with a modest income and an office in an ugly strip mall.
Haggard continues to be a slo-mo act of self-destruction whose every move seems to involve stepping in more doo-doo. May he not fade too quickly from view. Every additional day he spends in the limelight he craves so much is more tarnish for the other ignorant haters of his ilk who (at least at the moment) remain scandal-free.
posted by Cacau, at
1/27/2009 3:41 PM
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