Wayne Besen - Author, Activist, Columnist, Public Speaker

Tuesday, April 28, 2009

(Weekly Column)

The Miss USA contest began as a beauty contest and ended up as a mud bath. The theatrics started when celebrity blogger Perez Hilton, who was a pageant judge, asked Miss California, Carrie Prejean, if she supported marriage equality.

"I think it's great that Americans are able to choose one or the other...choose same-sex marriage or opposite marriage...(but) I think that I believe that a marriage should be between a man and a woman," Prejean replied. She then added that she did not wish to offend anyone.

As a result, she may have lost the beauty contest. Hilton inflamed the issue by calling her a "dumb bitch" on his video blog. The catfight quickly spiraled into a cultural sensation nearly on par with Janet Jackson's Super Bowl "wardrobe malfunction."

What could be juicier for the television talk shows than a jilted beauty queen vs. a bitchy queen spewing venom about the hottest of hot button issues? For two dueling airheads, this story has certainly had no shortage of oxygen.

At first blush, the preening Prejean seemed to give a dumb answer as Hilton suggested. He also rightfully pointed out that Miss USA is not supposed to be a divisive figure and is expected to represent all Americans -- not just religious conservatives.

But, I think that Prejean was more a victim of bad timing. The mindless, "marriage should be between a man and a woman", has become a standard reply to this question. She had probably heard it from politicians -- including Democrats -- for years and must have presumed that this answer was suitable.

This time, however, something had changed. Gay people were finally sick and tired of hearing that they should accept inferior status. When Prejean stated that she hoped not to offend anyone, the truth was she had. For the first time, it was no longer acceptable to repeat this mantra in polite company.

Anti-gay commentators were quick to point out the hypocrisy of gay activists. They wondered why Hillary Clinton and Barack Obama were allowed to say the exact same thing as Prejean while gay activists kissed their rings. The short answer is that Sam Brownback, Mitt Romney and Mike Huckabee weren't in the beauty contest. If they had been, Ms. Prejean may have seemed like a pleasant alternative.

But, anti-gay activists do raise a good point. In future presidential elections, how can we hold Democrats to a lower standard than Miss California? Has the time come when the GLBT community will not support presidential candidates that fail to endorse full marriage equality?

This brouhaha also creates a conundrum for mainstream Americans who consider themselves pro-gay, but are unwilling to support marriage equality. The Miss USA debate effectively eliminates this comfort zone and pushes people to make a decision. It says: "you've had a decade to consider the issue -- so make up your mind and get off the safety of the fence."

After I appeared on the O'Reilly Factor on this issue, I received an avalanche of e-mail -- many from people who did not consider themselves bigots, but nonetheless wanted to ban GLBT people from an institution they consider essential to their own lives. If marriage is indispensable for heterosexuals, how could they not think it so for homosexuals? There is a real disconnect where people want to believe they are tolerant -- yet demand GLBT Americans stay in their place.

Unfortunately, Prejean dug a deeper hole by saying that it was more important for her to be "biblically correct" than politically correct. In doing so, she followed in the dubious footsteps of another beauty queen turned anti-gay activist -- Anita Bryant.

After appearing on major talk shows, Prejean returned to California and immediately hit the church circuit. On the pulpit, she said that producers of the state pageant demanded that she apologize to the gay community and refrain from mentioning religion when she appeared on television.

But Roger Neal, a San Diego public relations representative who advised Prejean, said she was untruthful. "She chose to stand up in church and in front of the media and say something that was a lie," Neal said. "No one ever said, 'You must apologize to the gay community,' and no one ever said, 'Don't talk about your faith or your religion.' Those two things never came out of anybody's mouth."

As anyone in showbiz knows, getting typecast can be career suicide. As the new Bryant - Prejean will get her 15 minutes of fame and then be reduced, in a few years, to singing the national anthem at anti-gay rallies.

The real winner, of course, was Perez Hilton, who is now as much a household name as Paris Hilton. While he raised an important question, the broader implications of this skirmish have yet to be fully answered.

35 Comments:

I, too, say she is a DUMB BITCH. I agree with this Perez Hilton. There is a very good reason gay people took issue with this idiotic propaganda. First, it is not ok to be a hateful bimbo and get away with it because you have julia roberts teeth, blonde hair and fake tits. Second, many gay and straight people strongly disagree with Hillary Clinton and Barack Obamas opinions on the topic of marriage but we also know that they are from a different generation than tired young Barbie. It became crystal clear the moment she spewed out her stupidity that a larger gay voice of defense was necessary. It cannot be allowed to go unnoticed that someone of her age in the culture she was brought up with and the information she had access to be permitted to emotionally masturbate religious ignorance. You are right about her being unimportant but her peers are not. They must hear the outrage and see very clearly that this was a discriminatory statement made without thought. Miss California is not allowed to have that opinion as Miss California. She can have her limited opinion as only Ms. Prejean or whatever her name is.
posted by Spouse Walker, at 4/29/2009 5:07 AM

Perez Hilton has done a great disserice to the homosexual community. He is really a little man with a big mouth (a big foul mouth). In Hollywood he is generally not respected. Even some gays and lesbians think he is
a jerk." This pageant judge asked a straighforward question and he got an answer he didn't like from Miss California. Then he went national putting her down and calling her a bitch and implied she was a "dumb cunt." It is easy for folks who uphold marriage between a man and a woman to dismiss Mr. Hilton. Hey, I have a problem with someone who has Paris Hilton as a role model of womanhood (Mr. Hilton changed his name to have the same intitials as this "airhead"). I hope in the future that the gay community has representatives that speak with authority as well as with some polish and class. The other side can too easily dismiss the Perez Hiltons of this world
posted by Jay Jay, at 4/29/2009 6:00 AM

I just read Ewe's comments....
He says that Miss Californina "masturbates religous ignorance" with her response to Mr. Hilton's question. Though I disagree with Miss California, I must say she was true to 2,000 years of biblical interpretation of marriage between and man and a woman. Mr. Ewe, you are the one spewing religious ignorance. It might be good for you not to show your stupidity by responding to Wayne's article. You make we in the pro-gay movement look like idiots. Do your homework before you write such crap.
posted by Jay Jay, at 4/29/2009 8:29 AM

First of all, if bleached blonde Prejean wants to be biblically correct....then what the hell is she doing entering a beauty pageant. Flaunting one's body and flesh are prohibited in her book of fairy tales. I find her statement hypocritical to say the least. How can she have it both ways? Nobody asked her for her religious views. She was asked a legitimate question to which she should have answered, "I don't agree with same-sex marriage". End of argument. Why did she have to rant about her beliefs and biblical correctness? Is she a shill for the far right or what? Why is it that when the far right bashes us, we're not supposed to bash back but accept what they're saying and if we do retaliate, they resort to playing the victim nonsense, chastized because of their religious beliefs. I've had enough of it. Perez Hilton is right on the money, she IS a dumb bitch.
posted by Anonymous, at 4/29/2009 8:34 AM

Jay Jay: I agree with you. Perez is a complete embarrassment. He is mocked among my 20s friends(many straight-but that's my point- and a few gay), including those living in Los Angeles whom I saw over last weekend. Yeah, this whole ordeal got people talking. And I suppose in the long run it is good~ keep the gay marriage issue on top. But, it's too bad we had to have this lunatic involved.

We can't really compare Paris Hilton to Perez. I mean, Paris is a household name by default. Everyone knows who she is by her family hotel chain. But no one gives her credence. She's just a party girl in Hollywood. Perez made a website, called people out, pissed off a lot of people and then called miss cali a bitch. Yep, that's an accomplishment alright, LOL.

Hopefully, the reasonable voices in the gay community will eventually overshadow that of Perez Hilton. Perez had the spotlight for the past 2 weeks, but this is not what we need. Hopefully he will go back to sitting in his chair and playing on the keyboard.

As far as Miss Cali, I don't really believe she lost here. Certainly I disagree with her, just as I do with our president on gay marriage. I'm guessing Miss Cali will probably be hired by Fox News from what I am hearing. I don't think she will fade away unless she chooses to do so...
posted by TrevorHere, at 4/29/2009 8:45 AM

Jay Jay said "Though I disagree with Miss California, I must say she was true to 2,000 years of biblical interpretation of marriage between and man and a woman.".

Wrong. The bible says nothing about marriage between same sex couples. It doesn't condemn same sex marriage and she and you are wrong to imply it does.
posted by Priya Lynn, at 4/29/2009 1:55 PM

Jay jay: There was no TRUE interpretation to BIBLICAL correctness. You are a victim of self hate. You just don't know it and the proof is in the fact you go after Perez Hilton and now me instead of this dumb bitch you refer to as the "other side." I have a suggestion for you. Either get educated or don't. I could cared less. Newsflash: It was the blonde bimbo who was dismissive of you and everything you ARE. She sat in judgement of all of us and she needs to be told she is a stupid dumb bitch. Get over it.
posted by Spouse Walker, at 4/29/2009 2:35 PM

And when Ms. Prejean decides to make an apology to all of us is the day maybe she will deserve some respect. Until then, it takes one to know one. You scratch my back, i'll scratch yours. Two peas in a pod. Two for the seesaw. Love will conquer all. Yada yada yada. Let's stop putting blame on people who did not make the statement and keep it focused on Miss. Thing. She was not reading from a script. It all came out of her pretty little empty mind. And it was UGLY. So it is no surprise that ugly makes more ugly. I don't about anyone else but i am not the type to bake her a cake FOR THAT.
posted by Spouse Walker, at 4/29/2009 2:50 PM

Would anyone be standing up for Miss California if she had said something as equally offensive as "I believe that marriage should be between two white people?" She essentially said that because I wasn't born heterosexual therefore I am not worthy enough a humam being to enjoy the basic right of marriage like she can.
posted by Steven, at 4/29/2009 3:11 PM

Steven ~ well I for one am not standing up for Miss Cali and I can only speak for myself, But: The focus of this blame game has been on a contestant of a trivial Miss USA competition. We really should be focusing the energy on out politicians like our very own president and state senators. They should be taking the heat. Miss Cali is for the most part mimicking what many of them have said throughout their campaigns.

So, no I'm not sticking up for her (yep, I think what she said is hateful and selfish) but I think we need to look at this more realistically. The policians have been getting a free ride on this issue for the past couple weeks while a beauty queen has taken the heat...
posted by TrevorHere, at 4/29/2009 3:35 PM

EWE, you are a narrow, whiny person. I have been in the homosexual movement for too long (25 years) and I get tired of folks like you who use foul language and have no class to make a point. Clean it up EWE and maybe some people will take you seriously
posted by Jay Jay, at 4/29/2009 6:52 PM

Jayjay: If you defend Miss California then you are going to get kicked in the teeth the same way. Spare me the 25 year stint in the gay movement crap. Some help you are with an attitude of defending homophobic remarks made by a dumb bitch. You are the problem. Take care of your own backyard. I don't care if people like you take me seriously. That's a complement. You just don't know that either. You are defending ignorance and hate and i am going to hate you back 10 times worse ALWAYS. Get away from me. You are a pest.
posted by Spouse Walker, at 4/29/2009 7:51 PM

Jay jay is a liar as well as a pest.
posted by Priya Lynn, at 4/29/2009 8:47 PM

I find myself really liking you Priya Lynn.
posted by Spouse Walker, at 4/30/2009 2:44 AM

Wayne, I'm kind of disappointed in you. This article sounded way too apologetic.

Look, gay people have to be equal citizens under the law or we're not, or the fight still isn't over yet. It's that simple. There is no safety fence the democrats can stay in for any longer.

You need to get off this 'ex-gay kick' and start fighting for other gay causes, Wayne. You need to get out of your *own* comfort zone, as do all gay people.

Divided we fall. It doesn't matter if you personally don't want to marry somebody of the same sex or what mealy-mouthed Midwesterners think of gay people, the gay people who are ready for that commitment should be treated equally and fair under the law, no matter where you are.

Period.

Also, why are you bullying Perez just because he's weird, fat and bitchy? They're our strongest allies. Semi-butch gay men such as yourself (straight men are still more masculine than you, Wayne - as you have 'soft gay eyes' like most gay guys) annoy me sometimes.

There are just so many other gay issues besides gay marriage and 'ex-gays.' What about self-loathing gay men that *didn't* come from right-wing communities?

You need to be a GAY activist Wayne. Not a DEMOCRATIC activist. Democrats are spineless. Gay people, as human beings, shouldn't be. You need to be a champion for gay people.
posted by Unknown, at 4/30/2009 11:32 AM

Well I for one commend Wayne on all the work he has done. He is a true role model.

As for Hilton, while I do not agree with Prejean's opinion, I think his comments on youtube were counterproductive.

And I think it's sad that some of us are turning on each other with so much damned venom.

Nothing wrong with anger but when you get so angry that you turn on your own and allow your mouth to rule over your mind, you are only helping those who oppose you because you play into their hands.

I don't want rage that can't be articulated in a productive manner any more than I want visibility that ends up hurting our cause. If some of us used our minds as quickly as we lash out, this so-called cultural war would be won by our side in no time.
posted by BlackTsunami, at 4/30/2009 8:01 PM

BlackTsunami: well jay jay was the first one to turn this topic into an ugly one by attacking me just like miss California did to us and Perez Hilton. I responded in kind to Jay jay and so did Perez Hilton. I think that is perfectly ok. Lets go to the source of the original ugliness and confront it. As far as Wayne Besen goes, i think he is a great asset to the gay community and he can spend his time doing whatever he feels most passionate about. Other than that, i agree with SexyOn about so much of what was said implying that we must stand up and tell these judgemental motherfuckers to shut the fuck up. We are not seeking their approval or permission and we are going to have the same thing as them or we are going to continue to be in the courts. It is not up to straight people to deny anyone something they take for granted and then hide behind opinion, religion and their biased upbringing as an empty rationale. Tell em to go to hell. They are incorrect.
posted by Spouse Walker, at 4/30/2009 9:37 PM

BT~ very well said.

ewe ~ The orignal source of ugliness sits with our politicians on both sides. More importantly with our pres. Should the Miss USA contest be considered on the same level as the campaign debates? Because her answer mirrored that of the candidates responses.
posted by TrevorHere, at 4/30/2009 10:30 PM

trevorhere: No it should not. I would like to remind you that bringing that up to people who voted for a third party candidate is redundant anyway.
posted by Spouse Walker, at 5/01/2009 12:43 AM

If Prejean wants to be "Biblically correct" what is she doing strutting about in costly costumes that cover almost nothing, wearing gold and pearl jewelry? Hasn't she read 1 Timothy 2:9? Or is it just that she wants to impose "Biblical correctness" on others while leaving herself free to do as she pleases--which is typical of the RRRW?
posted by Buffy, at 5/01/2009 7:21 AM

For all the Perez Hilton bashing, lets not forget who started the Gay rights movement....a lot of drag queens and transgendered people in the Stonewall riots. Are going to bash them too just because we don't identify with them? I see a doublestandard here. I'm not emamored of Perez Hilton but at least he had the guts to raise the issue and get it out for discussion. It needs to be debated in every state.

Prejean has signed on to do ads against same-sex marriage, so that only proves she's more of a hypocrite than she appears. I suspect she's a paid shill for her cult. The bleach has definitely gone to her brain, assuming she has one. People and the cults they belong to eventually self-destruct, just a question of time. The more absurd and out of touch they become, the more irrelevant they are. Just look at the GOP!
posted by Anonymous, at 5/01/2009 8:33 AM

Damn that Perez Hilton is sexy!
posted by Priya Lynn, at 5/02/2009 12:03 AM

I don't think JayJay is actually gay gay. (tee hee)

What kind of gay person calls themselves a "member of the homosexual movement???" That's something anti-gay people do to emphasize the SEX part of our lives and say we're nothing but a political cult trying to lower age of consent laws and get rid of laws against public sex.
posted by Emily K, at 5/03/2009 6:07 PM

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posted by Emily K, at 5/03/2009 6:07 PM

Emily said "What kind of gay person calls themselves a "member of the homosexual movement???"".

Good point Emily - I missed that. Seems highly likely that Jay Jay is only pretending to be gay in an attempt to discredit the gay community.
posted by Priya Lynn, at 5/03/2009 10:14 PM

Pria Lyn and EWE
Folks like you almost motivate me to hang out with straight fundamentalists. To tell you the truth, Miss California is a turn-on. She's hot. I think I am going to go see a repartiave therapist and work out my deep dark issues that got me into homosexuality in the first place. Pria and Ewe, you can stay stuck in your rather tiny little gay world.
posted by Jeff Winter, at 5/05/2009 5:18 PM

Sorry Jeff, but your ex-gay and aversion therapy apparently haven't worked if you're coming to a gay blogsite, that's further evidence of their failure. Continue wasting your money on them if you will, you'll still end up unhappy. Any luck with the ladies yet?

Provide us with the scientific evidence using controlled experiments that have been replicated and published in the legitimate scientific and medical literature please?

Better yet, to prove their point, why haven't any of the ex-gay ministries been able to convert a heterosexual to a gay orientation? It should work both ways if ex-gay therapy is to be believed. So far, they haven't done it. A total fraud and a front to make money on vulnerable people like you. You know the old addage, a fool and his money are soon parted.
posted by Anonymous, at 5/06/2009 12:35 PM

Jeff Winter I never said Miss California wasn't hot. You go ahead with your "reparitive" therapy - you're clearly all messed up anyway and it'd give me a good laugh to see them mess you up even further.
posted by Priya Lynn, at 5/06/2009 2:26 PM

Jeff, dude ~ your denial brought you the dark issues. Not the other way around. I played that game throughout hs and college, so I know too much about denial. Sure, you could easily copulate with Miss Cali ~ but you'll still be attracted to dudes and thinking about sex having with them. No one can "therapy your orientation away". Accept it and be free.
posted by TrevorHere, at 5/06/2009 4:46 PM

Yes, Jeff: Please leave my world. You are right that you probably are too tiny for me. There is nothing hot about an ugly mind and Miss Prejean has become ugly and brings out the worst in everyone. Please feel free to waste your time degaying your low self esteem though. It won't be wasting my time.
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